OH MY GOD, IM BLEEDING By Tian Yan Zhang

When I was walking on Henry street five years ago something weird happened, it was a very sunny and hot friday morning . The air was so hot that I felt the concret melting under my shoes. while walking home, I saw a old homeless man lying on the sidewalk. He was just lying there with a red plastic cup and a sign that said "need money for food." He had his eyes open and looking at the clear blue sky. When I was walking pass him, I almost vommitted because there was a nasty smell that's coming from him. Behind me, there was a guy in a black suit .When he passed by the homeless man, he was kind enough to threw two quarters in to the red cup. All of a sudden, the homeless man pops up from the floor with a box cutter in his hand. He looked crazy. You can see his vains poping up like a bag of popcorn in the microwave. he had the box cutter pointed at him then he yelled at him. I didn't understand what he was saying because it didn't sound like english. He dashed his blade and cut the guy in the right hand. The cut was about six inches long. The homeless man then rushed to pick up his cup and board, and he ran away. The guy in the black suit started to scream. while he was screaming, A crowd was forming around him in a circle. He yelled out "oh my god, I'm bleeding." He kept on stairing at his hand. The blood from his hand was dripping out. He tried to stop the blood from coming out, so he press his left hand against his right hand. It didn't work. The blood kept on flowing out from his hand. It started to look like a long river when blood flowed down the block. People that was circling around him started to whisper, but nobody ever thought of calling 911 or the ambulance. Finally, a man reach in to his pocket and pull out his cellphone. The minute that he used his cellphone to call for help, we heard the siren. It was the ambulance followed by a police car. They started to scatter the crowd. Then the guy in the black suit was escorted in to the ambulance. After they drove off, I left because the officers started to ask people what happened, and I didn't want to get involve in that.


Posted at Oct 31/2004 12:11 PM:
Admin: This is an interesting story, but you haven't made any effort to complete the assignment by dividing into paragraphs, proofreading, and most important, using the story to support an overall point. You just tell what happened, what you saw, and the details are there, but there's no introduction, conclusion, or thesis, as we discussed many times.

D